MVP: From Overwhelmed To In Control: The 3 Shifts That Changed My Career as a Humanitarian and International Development Leader

Are you constantly overwhelmed by meetings, tight deadlines, or nonstop tasks—wondering why you never seem to have time for what really matters?

In this episode, we unpack the hidden cost of letting your schedule, health, and career growth be dictated by external pressures. If you're tired of feeling reactive instead of intentional in your humanitarian role, this conversation is for you.

In this episode you'll discover:

• The 3 most common areas where aid workers surrender control—and how to reclaim it.
• Discover practical tips for setting boundaries, prioritizing what matters, and feeling empowered.
• Get inspired to finally take ownership of your time, health, and professional development without guilt.

Tune in now to discover how taking full responsibility can transform your leadership and restore balance to your work and life.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

 Welcome to the Modern Humanitarian and Development Leader podcast. The podcast helping humanitarian and development supervisors make a greater impact by taking control of your time, leading more inclusively and empowering your team all the while avoiding stress. Burnout and overwhelm. I'm your host, leadership coach and former aid worker, Torrey peace. Are you ready? Let's get started.

 Welcome my Modern leader. I hope you're having a wonderful week. So once again, I want to address this issue of "I don't have the time", and if it's really the real reason behind why we sometimes delay things or put them off, or we don't get started or get everything we want to get done and not blaming anybody here because this is so common.

I see it all the time, but when I was reflecting on this, it made me think of one of the most listened to episodes from my previous podcast, the AID for Aid Workers Leadership Podcast, and I think this particular episode will address why having more time does not solve our problems. So in this episode that I'm sharing now, you're going to discover the three most common areas where aid workers surrender control, and how to reclaim it.

Discover practical tips for setting boundaries, prioritizing what matters, and feeling empowered. And finally, take ownership over your time, health, and professional development. Without the guilt, I think it'll be worth your time to listen. All right, here we go.

Hello, my aid worker friend. Hope you're having a great week. So, I don't know about you, but when I was a country manager, I had many grand plans of always going and visiting the communities where we were working and seeing what was going on at the field level. But for some reason, there was always something that was preventing me from going, whether it was a donor meeting or maybe a proposal dropped or maybe there was some kind of HR issue or I had to stay for interviews.

Whatever it was, it just seemed like the universe didn't want me to go. Now, looking back on this now, I realize that if I had really wanted to go and I had really prioritized it and just blocked out the time that I could have made it happen. It was really a choice I was making, but I was just using or deciding on how to use my time in a way that responded.

To whatever was immediately in front of me or seemed the most urgent at the time. And so today I wanna talk to you about responsibility and how we can take more responsibility in our work and life. And why do we wanna talk about this today? Well, because it's a game changer for your life and leadership.

The more areas of our life that we take responsibility over and realize are the consequences of our actions, the more we will be in control over where we are and where we are going. And so we are more likely to be able to get where we want to go. So when we don't take responsibility for the decisions that we make and our actions, we're leaving external factors to decide where we're gonna end up.

And although that is the path of least resistance, it will also rarely lead to where you want to go. So in the case of me visiting the community, it was much easier to take the path of least resistance by just going to that donor meeting or saying yes to the, you know, helping out with the proposal rather than putting those things on hold so I could prioritize the community visit.

So this is not about making yourself feel bad or guilty for not doing something or for making a certain decision. That is not what I'm talking about today. This is about recognizing that you are making a choice and taking responsibility over the outcome or the consequences of that choice. So today I'm gonna go over three areas in which aid workers often do not take responsibility.

And these are three very common areas where we give up control and I want you to get it back. So I'll be going over some ways that you can retake responsibility and regain control, and these three areas which will make a huge. Difference for your mental and physical health as well as for your career.

So, of course some areas we don't have control over, like where you were born or your family members, but these are not decisions that we're making. What I'm talking about is to consider that most areas of your life you do have control over and are the consequence of decisions that we've made in the past, in the thinking and the actions as well.

So why don't people take more responsibility then? Like, why are we not all great at taking control over, you know, going to the field or prioritizing certain things in our work and our life? Well, one thing is it's scary. When we accept control and that we have control over an outcome, it means that if we're not happy with the outcome, we have to accept that we're doing something wrong or that we might need to change, or that we might need to step, step outside of our comfort zone.

And that can be really scary. So think about it. It's much easier, in a way, more comfortable to just accept that we don't have control over our time or our career than to accept that we might be doing something wrong. Another reason that we might not take responsibility is because we're not even aware that we can.

I think a lot of times we think that. The reasons that we can't do something or we don't make a certain decision is because it's beyond our control, or in other words, we're influenced by all these external factors. Well, this is where a coach can really help you because. One job of a coach is to help you really understand your thinking and your mindset and separate your thoughts from reality because we all have our own perspectives, but it doesn't mean that that's reality.

So are you ready to hear the top three areas in which aid workers don't take responsibility and what to do about each? Alright, let's get started. So the first area that I know I have been guilty of in the past and I see other aid workers often not take responsibility for is around our time. Some areas where you think you might not have control include the number of meetings you have to go to, or there's too much to do in the office, like your workload, and so you have to take things home.

Or maybe your supervisor assigns you a lot of tasks and you feel like you can't push back. Well, here's how to take responsibility in these situations. First, recognize that you are making a decision and that you do have control over your own time. No one is forcing you to do any of these things. Maybe you feel like you might be fired or there might be some kind of negative consequence if you don't go to that meeting or you, you say no to your supervisor.

But at the end of the day, we are making a decision whether we're going to do these things and how we use our time. And so being more mindful of that and realizing that it's actually within our control, how we use our time, is a first step toward regaining that control. And I would also challenge that if you are.

Concerned what your supervisor will say if you try to create more or push back when they give you too much work and they don't listen to you or you feel like you might get fired. I would even question if you want to work for that kind of an organization and Yes. You know, I realize that. It's important.

Like maybe it's hard to look for another job, especially right now with the economy and whatever, but these are all beliefs that we have. And if you can at least start, you know, the first step in that process of maybe I'm not very happy in this situation and I need to look for something else, then I would think that's, you know, that's a first step toward feeling like you can regain control over your time.

Okay, so the second thing that you can do in this case is to set boundaries. So to be very clear with yourself around how much work you can handle, what's the most important, you know, what are your priorities, maybe even going over those with your supervisor. Also. The number of meetings that you can do, what types of meetings can you delegate or do you not need to go to?

Because sometimes it's just a matter of somebody showing up with your logo on their shirt and. You know, thinking about these things and really challenging what is absolutely necessary and what may not be. And I think a lot of times we just go to the meetings or we take on the workload or we don't push back with our supervisor because we assume we have to.

But you know, the more you try to plan ahead and have an idea of what kind of boundaries you need in your time for the week. And plan your schedule accordingly, and then keep those boundaries, which is the next thing is once you set the boundaries to keep those boundaries, then the more close or the closer you'll be to regaining control over your time.

So I do have a episode as well that I've done in the past around how to decide what meetings are worth your time and which ones you can delegate and which ones just aren't even worth going to. I knew, I remember as an aid worker, that's one of the things I hated the most was all the meetings we had to attend.

So I really would challenge you to think about, you know, which of these do I really get the most value out of? Alright, so the second thing that a lot of times aid workers feel like they don't have control over or don't take responsibility over is around our health. And, and when I say health, I mean mainly diet and exercise.

So reasons you might think that you don't have control in these areas. Well maybe you don't have access to healthy foods. Maybe. You travel too much and you feel like it's just almost impossible to be able to eat well, or maybe you have limited time or access to an oven or a way to prepare the food that you would prefer to eat.

So I challenge all of these beliefs as well. You know, I did a episode in the past around how to eat well even when you're in the field, and I'll put that also in the show notes. But, you know, first you need to recognize that you do have control and it's a decision you're making, whether you're. Going to eat well or exercise or not.

It's just that it requires more advanced planning and more work. So planning ahead is one thing whenever you're going to a community or traveling or, you know, I mean, when I was in South Sudan. And I would go to Upper Nile. I knew that I was gonna be more limited and, and healthy eating options. And so I would always try to bring things with me like fresh fruits and vegetables or even canned things that were better than what was served there.

And it was possible, you know, it was. Possible. And I, I remember after I published that episode on how to Eat Well in the Field, I got some pushback from someone who said, well, the community where I live, there are, there is no market. And okay, maybe that's true, but even if there's no market, maybe you can find a way to, you know have somebody deliver things to you or.

Bring in things in advance, you know, dehydrated food, whatever it is that you need to do. I always really think that 95% of the time, 99% of the time, there is a way, if there's a will, there's a way. It's just that in that case, maybe there's not a very strong will. So I would challenge that mindset. And then, and you know, you can also in terms of exercising, there are workouts that you can do in your room.

There are choices, there are things that you can do to be able to be healthy as an aid worker with both our time and our health. And. Yes. Once again, the organizations definitely should be responsible for making sure that, you know, our we are not overworked and that, you know, we're there's the right enough, enough resources and, and rest and recuperation that we need.

But I think in a lot of situations people just assume that. These things our time, our, our health, our outside of our control, when in actuality they are within our control. Okay? The third thing is or the third area that aid workers often do not take responsibility for is our development. And what I mean by this is our professional and personal development.

So. Maybe you think in this case that your organization owes you and that they are the ones that should provide you training for wherever it is that you want to go. Or maybe it's your supervisor's responsibility, or maybe you feel like you have no time outside of work or that you're too tired. But if you really are serious about, you know.

Understanding where you want to go professionally and knowing what kind of skill sets you need that you don't have currently to get there. Then finding your own trainings and, and things that your organization might not be able to provide. Also, you know, it's an important part of taking responsibility for our own development.

So, first of all, recognize the consequences of not taking responsibility over this. That means that you're gonna be a victim to whatever your organization sends you to, which may be great or it may not. Also find trainings that you're interested in and maybe see if your organization will support you in attending them.

And if not, maybe it's worth the investment Blocking time as well can help in terms of your professional development. This is something I also struggled with, but you know, I did manage to do a professional coaching course over a year and a half while still being a country manager. Part of that was because I was very disciplined.

I had made the decision and took responsibility for every night doing the work, the, the coursework that I needed to do. And you know, if you block the time and you really are serious about it and committed to it, you can do it too. Also, reframe your perspective. So. You know, sometimes we get caught up in just the day-to-day what we're doing.

But where are you gonna be one year from now if you don't act? Or you just let others decide what kind of trainings or what you need to do professionally? Where will you be one year from now if that happens? Will you be where you want to go? Well, maybe, but maybe not. It's better to take control, to take responsibility in the situation and really.

Decide and, and commit to what you need to do in order to get where you want to go. So, for example right now, you know, and this also. Relates to not only your professional development, but personal development. Maybe you have some personal goals, like, I would like to become a better chef or a better photographer.

And right now I feel sometimes lazy. Like I, I know that if I. Do that exercise, that photography exercise that's in my training manual, and I'll just feel so much better afterwards. But sometimes I'm just feeling like, oh, I'm just too tired. I don't wanna do that. And so then I put it off. And what does that mean?

If I kept putting it off every single day? I'm not gonna progress. I'll actually maybe go backwards. And so that's where reframing your mindset also around these kinds of decisions. It can be very effective in terms of motivating you to commit to them. Alright, so what are some areas of your life that you can take more responsibility?

I challenge you to consider this as you go throughout your day tomorrow. So as you move through your day, ask yourself, how can I take. Responsibility in this situation, whether it's skipping your lunch, scheduling back-to-back meetings that leave you with little energy or feeling too uncomfortable to ask your supervisor if you can take time off for that course that you've been meaning to take.

It's really important to know that we do have control and we are making decisions in these situations. And the more you realize that, the more control you'll have over your own future and where you end up. So at first, this might be very uncomfortable and, but the more that you become aware of the areas where you can take responsibility and the more you take that responsibility.

It's a really great feeling because it means we are in control over our own time and the direction in which we are going, and that is very powerful. Alright, that's it for this week. If you wanna share with me how you've taken responsibility somewhere in your life for your work, email me at Tory T-O-R-R-E-Y, at aid for aid workers.com.

Until then, keep broadening your impact. Bye for now.

 Are you the type of leader that tells others what to do or to let them figure it out for themselves? Understanding your leadership style is a first step to deciding what's working for you and what's not. To find out your leadership style, take my free quiz. What is your leadership style? You'll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting your team, and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.

Just click on the link in the show notes, www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz. Fill out your quiz and click submit. So what are you waiting for? Go to www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz and discover your leadership style now. Your team will Thank you for it.